Remember the days of telephone calls and pre-planned dates and letterman jackets? When the “Dear Abby” column made sense and men asked a father’s permission to initiate courtship? Nope, neither do Jessica Massa and Rebecca Wiegand, the girls behind what could be the world’s first crowd-sourced relationship advice blog, WTF Is Up With My Love Life?! “We don’t think the ‘conventional’ dating literature/self-help literature out there in bookstores and the blogosphere is actually speaking effectively to women now, because for the most part it assumes we’re living in a ‘dating’ world that no longer exists,” says Wiegand, referring to how the digital sphere – among other things – has completely turned the romantic realm on its proverbial head. When folks are breaking up with each other on Facebook, and a text message equates a love letter, it seems that we actually are quite primed for a romantic reboot.

Jessica Massa and Rebecca Wiegand realized the fact and they were about to do something about it, by means of a movie, a book and a website.

The Story of WTF?!

It was a rather typical night in the summer of 2009 for Massa and Wiegand, two 27-year-old Brooklynites who had been friends since age 12. Massa, who had worked for years in the music industry, had just quit her job and was glued to her laptop, surfing celebrity blogs in her PJs whilst also tele-networking with a bunch of banking people in Brazil, discussing job opportunities and getting her visa application materials in order. She was planning on moving to the exotic locale, sleeping on couches and working as a bartender for cash, and was, understandably, a bit on the frazzled side. Wiegand had just come home from a work cocktail party (she was working for New Line Cinema at the time) and, in a similarly frantic/foul mood, she threw herself on the couch and started lamenting her romantic situation and the lack of men in her stable. “We’ve all had that moment,” Massa says, “but as Becky’s best friend, I know her day to day, so I was like, ‘OK, I get it, but actually I know that you were IMing with that publishing guy this week, and your ex-boyfriend was hanging around the apartment last week, and you made out with that random guy at that party we went to last week. You’re not dating anyone, but I objectively know that you’re talking to guys. I think you’re looking at it the wrong way.’”

They reached a conclusion that night: every woman had her ten types of men to deal with. From previous lovers, potential lovers to sex partners, disposable used ones and so on. The idea was totally welcomed by the executives of New Line Cinema and was going to be made into a film after the company’s blockbuster He’s Just Not The Into You — with a new perspective.

Collecting Ideas Through Blogging

The film contract was confirmed in the very first week of 2009 but the two girls didn’t want to hang around. They wanted to put forward their ideas as soon as possible. Therefore, a company called J&R Creative Media was founded and a blog was launched while they were preparing a book related to the film. They could not travel around to get their message across so the digital world served them best. Listening to other women also helped further develop their idea.

Techno-Romance

And there’s the rub. According to Massa and Wiegand, we live in a post-dating world. “There’s such a thing as techno-romance,” Massa says. “Your grandmother’s never gonna get it, but that text message is meaningful.” Back in the day, all one had to do to show one’s interest was pick up the phone, now, there’s a bevy of venues by which a person can flirt: Twitter ( ), Facebook ( ), text, e-mail, MySpace ( ) (if you’re still living in 2005). Which means there’s also a bevy of ways to get utterly confused. Massa and Wiegand even include app reviews and stories about technology as a way of helping their readers break through the haze of pixels and pings.

Neither men nor women can really figure out this new form of dating and romancing. Nobody is sure when to do what to do on those digital portals. Massa and Wiegand are against those guidebooks written by some well-educated elites who had graduated thirty years ago. They wanted to build a forum which would allow exchange of ideas, and not some top-down nurturing of, like transforming yourself to get the guy you want.

Not only the confused love seekers can benefit from the exchange of ideas, the two bloggers also get to collect some valuable resources for their movie and book. They are going to use some real life stories to brighten the project and show how complicated dating actually is, hoping to stop people applying the so-called golden rules to their dynamic relationships.

Learn more about relationships. Stop by Queenie Ang’s site where you can find out all about dating and what it can do for you.